Dreaming…or Discontentment?

Today I’m going to share a few dreams of mine.

Not nighttime while-you-are-asleep-dreams. Those are too weird. 😉

Like the one I had once where Star Wars Storm Troopers attacked my house and there were bombs dropping that bounced like super balls….yeah. Weird.

Not those.

Maybe instead of dreams they are more like goals…things I want to do and hope to be able to but am not sure if I can. So yeah. Dreams.

Probably one of my biggest dreams is to have a little farm.

A cute old house, a barn, a few cows and pigs and maybe sheep. I’d love room to have a nice big garden, a root cellar, a spring house (instead of a fridge). Space for the kids to run and play and get lost in the wonder of being outside.  A place for our chickens to sleep and a nice yard for them to scratch around in.

 

Our chickens are loving being able to eat all the new plants coming up!

Our chickens are loving being able to eat all the new plants coming up!

I want the farm to need a little fixing up, some love to get it back into shape. I don’t want a clean, new house and fancy barn. I want old, rustic, something with history and character. I’d like a place we can put our fingerprint on and make just how we want it and not be afraid of messing up with mud or dirt or if something gets colored on the walls. I like the satisfaction that comes with hard work, with knowing we made something better than it was, with our own hands.

Road Trip: Finished!

This is a farm we passed somewhere in Iowa, on our trip from Tennessee to Washington.. I took the picture from the car, hence the blurry foreground.

 

Sometimes, I want these things so badly it almost hurts. So badly my eyes fill with tears when I think about it.

Then I wonder…

Why do I want these things?

So that we can produce most of our own food and not rely on the ever-increasing dangerous industrial food system.

Because I want our children to learn the skills it takes to run a small farm, and the responsibility that comes with such hard work.

Because I like having little animal friends that follow me around everywhere.

Because I really enjoy getting my hands in the dirt and cultivating it and watching plants grow.

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A black bean sprout from our garden last year.

So we can have a place that our kids and grand-kids can come back to when they are grown and gather there and cultivate new memories.

So we can teach others about gardening and homesteading, and how to be more healthy and sustainable.

 

When I think of these things I wonder…

Am I being discontent with what God has given me?

I have a lovely sweet amazing husband, three amazing children and countless other blessings! We do have chickens living at my parent’s property and fresh eggs. We joined a CSA to get fresh organic vegetables. I have a nicer house to live in than we’ve ever had before and a great church family and my parents and two brothers and sister close by.

Am I being discontent with where I am right now?  

In a neighborhood with round-up saturated green lawns all around me and soil that is polluted beyond use for a veggie garden…yet literally a million dollar view of the mountains and ocean, and a beach that we can walk to! And a deck where I could container garden if I made the effort.

I wonder…

Did He put these desires for a farm in my heart or did I? 

Am I just being idealistic and trying to escape reality?

I don’t know.

 

I do know this, though: When my desire for a sweet little farm is greater than my desire for what God has for me, for our family-

Then I am being discontent. 

Then, I am making it an idol instead of a dream.

Then, I am in sin.

Because no matter where life takes me, my greatest desire should always be for God.

For what He has for me, and who he wants to make me into.

“For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

And the smaller details of life are insignificant compared to the all-surpassing joy and freedom of knowing Christ.

Because He is my peace.

He is my Home.

He is my life.

No matter where I end up, or what God brings me through, that is enough. He is enough.

If I get my idyllic farm someday full of hard work and the sacrifices that come with it, that would be amazing. If I don’t, I’ll get over it eventually. In the meanwhile, I try to be hopeful and stay content with where I am.  And when I fail, there’s God’s grace that can cover any sin, if I just ask Him. 🙂

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So Much Going On!

Hi!

Life around these parts has been crazy these days.

First: We went for an awesome family camping trip over the weekend!

It was SO much fun.

It was my Dad’s birthday and 4 out of 5 of us kids, my Mom and Dad and some of our friends went camping up at Teanaway; where we used to go camping every year for a few weeks when we were kids. My brother Jason couldn’t make it cause he lives in Missouri and well, that’s a long way to come. 🙂

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Ethan watching my sis Emily, family friend Colton, my brother Scotty and his girlfriend Carly dance. 🙂

We took up three campsites and spread out and had a nice big space to chill and for the kids to run around in.

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Me and my brother Brian deep in conversation.

We gathered firewood. We drank a lot of coffee. We ate bacon. Three essential camping activities. 🙂

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 We went on a hike up the mountain to “the big rock”- which is really big. And the view is just breathtaking.

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Just starting out- we hiked about 5 1/2 miles all together. We were all SO tired by the time we got back, especially the kids! They slept well that night.

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Papa Don helping Ethan. They were so precious! I love my Daddy and my son.

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My Brother Brian, his girlfriend Sarah, my hubby Tim and our kiddos, Ethan and Eliana

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Cool rocks!

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Gorgeous fragrant flowers.

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These flowers were growing out of the big rock. They were so beautiful!

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This is “The Big Rock”. It’s a sheer drop off from up where everyone is standing. I couldn’t even get close to it without starting to freak out, so I stayed back with the kids.

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The view from the big rock- Mt. Stuart and some other gorgeous mountains. That road is the one you drive in on the way to the campground.

And under the big rock is  “The Coliseum”. It’s amazing how the rock has been worn away over the years to create this cool amphitheater space.

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It’s just so majestic!

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Emily and Sarah, being cute like they are. 🙂

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Family picture! Kinda. We never can get both kids to look AND smile at the same time.

We went shooting, we enjoyed just being unplugged and relaxed and hanging out near the river.

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My little sis Emily shooting the bb gun at a can across the river.

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My turn! I actually hit the can too! Woo Hoo!

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Mom and Dad enjoying the stories around the campfire.

It was a great camping trip, with lots of good memories made.

Then– the day after we got home we started cleaning the house we’re moving in to!!

As some of you may know, we lost our house last year and moved across the country and have been living with my parents until we were on our feet enough to be able to rent.

Well, God worked out an awesome situation where some people we know moved far away but have a house here still and didn’t want to rent to someone they didn’t know…so we’re renting their house!

We’ve been cleaning and packing up their stuff (since they live far away and still have a bunch of stuff in the house) and getting it ready to move into for the last 3 days.  I am so exhausted! Moving and cleaning are hard work!

We spent our first night at the new house last night and it was nice. We still have a lot to do to make it “ours” and some of our stuff to move. Thankfully there’s no hurry.

It’s bittersweet leaving my parent’s house. They are so gracious and sweet  and we have loved living with them for the past 9 months!  I’m glad they’ll only be about 20 minutes away so we can still come over a lot and my mom is watching the kids for me on the days I work for awhile, so we’ll see them often and let them get their grand kid time. 🙂  Plus, our chickens and our garden is at their house so we’ll be there regularly.

It IS nice having our own space though- our new house is 1900 square feet; which is twice the size plus more than our old house in Memphis. I keep getting lost in our house! It’s funny.

And the master bathroom- oh, my. I will be spoiled beyond all reason. There’s a big round soaking tub and a separate shower with double shower heads. AND the room is like as big or bigger than our dining room in Memphis. It’s so spacious!

And there is a double oven in the kitchen. And organic raised garden beds outside that deer will eat from if we don’t protect it from them. And a worm bin.

And the owners left a bunch of dishes and some furniture so we pretty much have everything we need. The only things we have to buy are dish towels and dishwasher soap and dog food. And I get to use their gorgeous Le Cruset cookware! Seriously, I can’t believe it! ( I’ll do a home tour post soon so you can see.)

God is so good, to orchestrate everything to work out perfectly and give us more than we ever dreamed we could have. He is amazing!

So that’s what’s been going on around here.
I apologize if posting has been a little sporadic. It probably will be for a few more weeks until we get settled in. But I’ll try to give you something once a week to read. 😉

I hope you all are enjoying the beginning of summer! It’s been beautiful and sunny and warm here- finally!!

Ideas for Easter

I can’t believe it’s spring already, or that Easter is on Sunday!

In the past, we’ve celebrated Easter by having an Easter Egg hunt in the backyard, and gone to church but we’ve never done any of the fun Easter-y things with the kids like dyeing eggs or an Resurrection garden.
This year, we’re making some changes.

~First of all, we are keeping the focus on Christ’s death and resurrection-after all, Christianity would be useless without it!

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“For Christ died for sins, once for all– the righteous (Jesus)  for the unrighteous (us) , to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body, but made alive by the Spirit” 1 Peter 3:18

“For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:23,24

No bunnies.

~We are dyeing Easter eggs as a symbol of Jesus’ tomb- Eggs hold life and the cracking of the egg symbolizes the opening of the tomb to release new life into the world just as Jesus conquered death so that we might have new life as His children, free from the death that sin brings.

We’re using natural dyes for the eggs to avoid any chemicals. I’m excited to see how they turn out!

Click here to learn how to dye eggs using things you may have at home!

~We’re not giving the kids any candy- we’ve been trying to cut back on sugar and anything genetically modified, which is pretty much any candy. Maybe we’ll make cookies with honey or maple syrup or muffins or something as a treat instead.

~For Easter baskets, we’re giving each child an umbrella (no spiritual significance there, it just rains a lot here and they’ve been wanting those cute frog and ladybug umbrellas that open up and have eyes/antennae on top). I made a skirt for Ellie and am going to make some pants for Ethan to wear to church Easter morning, and we’ll put a few smaller things in the basket as well. I’d like to buy a children’s Bible for each of them but I don’t know if we’ll have time to do that. (we’d have to order it online or drive over an hour to get to a store that has Bibles.)

For some great Easter basket ideas, check out this website– or just visit the dollar store. You’ll find tons of non-candy items available.

For Christ-based Easter coloring pages, go here. There are some good ones on there!

I hope you have a lovely Easter! He is Risen!

DIY Advent Calendar

It’s almost December and I’ve been thinking about Christmas a lot; wanting to make our Christmas more meaningful this year and be really purposeful about focusing on Jesus’ birth instead of what presents we’re going to get or the goodies we’ll eat or events we’ll go to.

I thought a good way to make sure we spend at least a few minutes every day thinking about Jesus and talking about him and how he came to earth to save us from our sins is to make an Advent Calendar. We’ve never done an advent calendar before, but we are going to this year!

Advent simply means, “coming” and to celebrate Advent is to celebrate the coming of Jesus into the world; opening a door or envelope or present each day for the 24 days preceding Christmas.

There are a lot of advent calendars and there are so many options of what you can do, it’s almost overwhelming!

I decided to go with a simple felt calendar, that we can use year after year without having to go to a lot of work making it.
I also used printables from some other fabulous blogs for the numbers, the Bible verses to go into the pockets and an activity to do each day. (more on that in a second.)

Wanna make your own Simple Advent Calendar?

Of course, feel free to adapt your felt to whatever color scheme that matches your home/decorating for Christmas.

I figured red and gray and white is pretty Christmasy.
Let’s do it!

You need:

1- 14″ wide x 18″ tall rectangle of white felt

5 -11″wide x 3″ tall strips of coordinating felt (for pockets)

1- 1″ wide x 18″ long strip of white felt for the hanger

Sewing Machine

Coordinating thread

Scissors

25 clothespins

Printables  for the day numbers, bible verses and/or fun activities

Or you can just make your own little cards if you’re so inclined. I’m not, so I just googled around til I found what I wanted.

I got my day numbers from  Shanty-2-Chic, the Bible verses from Happy Home Fairy, and the fun activities from  Plum Adorable.  Pinterest has a TON of free printables too, if you can’t find just what you’re looking for.

Now that you have all your supplies, let’s make the calendar.

Take your white felt and line up your colored strips so that all 5 fit evenly spaced on the rectangle. I took some white felt  and sewed 2 smaller pieces together to make a nice rectangle. I only had scraps of felt and thankfully I had enough to piece together a big enough shape to hold the strips of maroon and gray felt for the pockets.

The felt kind of sticks to itself, so you may not even need to pin anything if you handle it carefully!

Sew down the ends of all the strips- just one big long stitch through all five, ending just past the bottom of the last strip. Do this on both sides.

Then, sew along the bottoms of all of the strips.

DON’T sew the tops!!! You’ll close up your pockets. ONLY sew the bottoms.

Once you have your bottoms sewed, go ahead and make 5 evenly spaced pockets on each row. Mark with pins.

Sew slowly and carefully, making sure it’s in a straight line, all the way down across all the strips, just like you did on the edges. As you can see, mine is not perfectly straight. That’s okay. I did cut the felt around the edges to be a little more even after I took this picture. Thankfully felt doesn’t unravel, so you don’t have to worry about hemming anything!

Finally, take your skinny white strip of felt and sew the ends down on the top corners of the calendar to create a way to hang it up.

Good. The main part of the calendar is done!!

If you want, you could applique numbers onto the strips before you sew them on the calendar….but I thought of that after I’d already sewed the strips on. So I just used clothespins with numbers glued on them for the days leading up to Christmas.

Cut out your numbers, and glue them to the clothespins, cut out your Bible verses and your activities and place one verse and one activity in each pocket, clip the clothespins on the pockets and then hang up your Advent Calendar!

I’m so excited to start using it in a few days!

 

 

Shared at Frugal Days, Sustainable Ways

Those Days

You know those days when you just can’t seem to get anything done?

When you want to put some chicken in the crockpot for dinner but you have to keep running to the other end of the house to referee the kids and keep them from putting twist ties in each other’s hair and wrecking each other’s lego creations, then you just get back into the kitchen and remember that you need to switch the laundry, then another fight breaks out and you try for two hours to get that darn chicken into the crockpot but are STILL unsuccessful because you keep getting interrupted??
Oh, and there are no clean dishes so you have to start washing those just to clean a place on the counter so you can put the crockpot where it will reach the electrical outlet?

I am having one of those days today.
I sure can’t do this mom thing on my own!

I am so thankful that I read this verse in my quiet time with the Lord this morning, because I desperately do need HIM:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.”
Proverbs 3:5,6

I need God’s direction today so I don’t go crazy with stress and impatience! My path today has been erratic and twisty and full of stress, just trying to get through the day. Nothing super important has happened, yet the day has just been really hard!
It’s amazing how when we take our eyes off of our problems (however big or small they may seem or actually be) and put our eyes on Jesus, what a peace He gives us and our paths just seem to straighten out and slow down. When we rest in God, everything falls into place because we let Him do His job, instead of us trying to do it for him.

If you’re having a bad day, or overwhelmed with problems, just take a few minutes to fix your eyes on Jesus, and remember that He died on the cross for your sins and rose again for YOU, and that if you let Him, he will make your paths straight, no matter how crooked they may be. It kinda puts things in perspective.

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or faint hearted.”
Hebrews 12: 3,4

I feel so much more peaceful after taking some time to ponder and surrender my day to God.
Oh, and I did finally get my chicken in the crockpot. 🙂

Life In Washington

We’ve now been in Washington for not quite a week and it already feels like home.
It might help that it was my home for 18 years, but even the rest of my family is settling right in as if we’ve always been here.
Of course, we still have moments of adjusting- the coolness of the nights chills us all to the bone, even though it only is in the 50’s and we miss our Tennessee friends. (Hi, friends! We love you!!)
We’ve yet to make any new friends, but I know we will at some point.

But overall, life is good.
Tim has been able to work several days with my brother Scott’s boss doing concrete and replacing broken pipes, digging holes, that kind of work. Even though it’s only part time and probably temporary, we’re incredibly thankful.
The kids have been playing outside and roasting hot dogs over a huge fire and digging in the dirt pit and helping Tim split wood to deliver to someone. (Another odd job to earn some money!)
God is taking good care of us. 🙂

(Lest you think everything is perfect, Ethan is currently grounded in his room for repeatedly disobeying and hitting his sister. Life is not all sunshine and giggles.)

Here are a few pictures of our beautiful home, and some fun we’ve had since we’ve been here.

Here I am, taking pictures of clotheslines again..but isn’t this one pretty? My daddy made it.

A water pump in the back yard. It still works.

My mom’s gorgeous hydrangeas

Itailan Prunes- what could be fresher than just picking them off the tree? Organic at it’s finest.

Ethan watching the cows next door.

Ellie going on a walk down the driveway

Blackberries from the bushes right down the driveway. I made blackberry cobbler with them Yum!

My awesome Daddy, workin’ on the bulldozer.

My sweet Mom, picking blackberries with me

My Parent’s house- and now our’s too!

Tim and Ellie splitting wood together

Ellie’s first time playing in the Puget Sound. She loved it!

Playing at Double Bluff- so much fun!

Cookin’ hamburgers with Poppa Don

Cows!!

What our mornings look like around here.

Tips for Frugal Road Trips

In four days, we are moving across the country.
Four. Days.
That’s pretty soon!

I remember when we first found out we were moving, we had 31 days and I made a paper chain with the kids so we could count down the days visually.
This especially helped Eliana, who has pretty much no concept of time yet at age 2.
(She knows that later is not right now…and that early is when we get up in the morning. That’s about it. )
Time has flown by and now we’re just tying up the last bits of things that need to be done.

Last night I was trying to think of some good travel activities to do in the car (since we’ll be in ours for five days) and here’s what I came up with:

~Use your imagination!
Games like I spy, counting games (count the red trucks that go by), the ABC game, things like that are a great way to pass the time. Even little kids can play. Best of all, they’re free!

~Activity books, coloring supplies, stickers, pipe cleaners, and tape are all great things to keep your kids busy for a bit while you’re cruising along in the car. I would recommend not giving them all of these things at once- spread them out so you can do different activities at different times and they won’t get bored with them.

~I have each kid pack their “special bag” which is a small sized messenger bag; full of toys of their choice.
These are the only toys they get to play with during the trip. (and in this case, all of their other toys will be in a suitcase on top of the car so if we need to we can change them out.)
The kids are responsible for choosing their toys, keeping track of their toys and picking them up when they spill. This teaches them that they need to be careful which toys they pick and careful that they don’t lose any!

~Books books books!
We’re bringing two tote bags full of books with us for the kids to read to themselves, and a few chapter books for me to read out loud to the entire family as we drive. We’re going to be reading J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit, Ronald Dahl’s James and the Giant Peach, as well as one of the kids’ favorites; Arnold Lobel’s Frog and Toad.
I’m excited to read to everyone, although I may lose my voice from so much reading!
It helps pass the time so much more quickly when you’re caught up in a book, and (bonus!) sometimes the little ones fall asleep while mommy is reading aloud.

~When you stop at a rest stop, make sure to run around, stretch your body, throw a frisbee back and forth, play tag! Make stops fun, even if they aren’t for very long. You could even bring bubbles and blow them for your youngsters to chase and pop. Anything to break up the monotony of being cooped up in the car. Let the kids get some energy out and go crazy for a few minutes.

~Don’t eat at fast food places! Pack your own food!
This will save your money and your stomach. 🙂 We always bring a cooler (even just a little one) and stock it up with lunch meat and sandwich fixings, homemade snacks like granola, cookies, rolls, carrot sticks, fruit, maybe a bit of chocolate.
If you don’t have room for a larger cooler, stop at a grocery store and get food for a few meals instead of throwing your money and health away by stopping at those legendary golden arches next to the freeway.
Even rotisserie chicken and rolls are healthier than a Big Mac.

~Make sure to wear comfy clothes.
Jeans are not a friend to road trips. (Have you ever tried sitting for 9 hours straight wearing jeans? NOT comfortable). I guess stretchy jeans would probably be okay, but if your gut is getting cut in two, you’re gonna be cranky!
Wear yoga or gym pants, lounge pants or a knit skirt (if you’re a girl, of course!). If you aren’t driving, wear shoes that you can slip off easily. If you’re comfy, you’re more likely to be happier.

~Music!
Make sure to have a nice assortment of music while travelling. We’re “old fashioned” in that we don’t have an iphone or mp3 player so we use cds and make sure to have a good mix of upbeat, good driving music. You don’t want to be stuck with slow tunes when you’re tired!! And, of course if you get sick of the music you brought, you can always try the local radio station. Although, more often than not the only ones that come in are country western. 😉

Well! Hopefully these tips will help you on your next road trip. Hopefully I can remember them all in 4 days when we leave, and our road trip will be more fun and less stressful.
Best of road tripping to you!!

Change Is A Comin’….

Things have been a little crazy around here (or a LOT crazy)

Because…

We’re moving!

In two weeks.

Clear across the country, to Washington State.

It’s a long story but basically, we’re losing our home here in Tennessee and moving to Washington to live with my parents in their big house out in the country.

 I feel like I have to add that we’ll be paying them rent and getting jobs, we won’t just be bumming around. 🙂

Please don’t feel sorry that we’re losing our house.
We know this is what God wants- He orchestrated the whole thing.
He gives and takes away, and we know that this is Him taking (a big) something away for us to purify us from our attachment to worldly goods and comforts. Honestly, it’s been really freeing.

Okay so here’s the scoop because I know you have questions so I’ll try to answer some of them:

We are WAY underwater on our house (a.k.a. owe more than we could sell it for) and couldn’t sell it if we tried (and we wanted to in the spring!)
But we just accepted the fact back in April that we couldn’t sell or rent our house and were planning to live here for who knows how long and then…
God opened a door.
A big one.
Not the one we expected, not the easiest one to go through, our pride (and credit) has taken a hit for sure!
But the right door.
So we’re walking through it.

We got behind on our mortgage and were frantically praying for God to provide, and he said, “No.”
He has something better for us in Washington, and I’m so thankful that even though it’s been a hard process, I’ve had such a peace about the whole thing.
I know He’s got us. So I don’t have to worry about anything. (which is hard, because worrying is kinda one of my favorite pastimes.) But I really feel at peace now. It’s wonderful.

We’ve sold almost all of our “stuff” and are planning to drive across the country on a 5 day road trip with whatever we can fit in our trusty little Toyota Corolla, along with our two kids and dog Lucy AND our kitten, Baby Kitty.

We. Are. Crazy.  Who brings a kitten cross country? We do.
Also: who names a kitten “Baby Kitty”? We do. Original, right??

ANyway.
I’m so looking forward to my parents being able to see the kids (every day!) and for the kids to get a rural upbringing without gunshots in the night and drug deals on the corner.

Yep. That really happens where we live now.
Oh, and I forgot to mention the rednecks that live behind us that blast their country music and ride their go-carts around their back yard ALL DAY LONG and blow dust all over my clean laundry hanging on the line…

Then there are the things that we’ll miss here like our dear, dear friends; going running along the Mississippi, the fun free events that are available in the city and just the pretty leafy trees and the cicadas humming and the fireflies twinkling in the twilight.

Instead, we get to wake up and look out at fog-covered cow fields and run around in a huge yard and see bald eagles on a regular basis flying over the blue, blue ocean and not have to worry about getting obliterated by a tornado.
We’re going to be right near the beach so we’re really excited about building sand castles and taking nature walks and just enjoying the things in life that matter-God and family and being outside with each other, enjoying God’s creation together.

Please pray for us, that we wouldn’t go insane on the trip and that we’d get there safely.
My blog posting may be a bit spotty here in the next few weeks but I promise you I’m taking a TON of pictures on our trip across this beautiful country. I can’t wait!

Hodgepodge of Thoughts, on Life and Faith

I’ve been really thinking lately, and struggling with a few things and wondering what God’s purpose for us is right now in this season of life.

(This is a somewhat more “deep” post than usual…so if you’re looking for crafts or natural living, today isn’t the day. 🙂

We thought we were moving to Oklahoma in April.
It turns out, every door we tried to open was closed- we couldn’t sell our house, we couldn’t find a rental house, we couldn’t find a job, we couldn’t even get change of address forms from the post office! (I tried two different post offices, and both of them were out.) That was the final tipping point- down to the little details, it was clear that God wanted us to stay here.
We prayed and prayed about it and it was obvious we needed to stay where we are.
So we did.

God has totally blessed our obedience and given Tim an awesome new job, we have our cute chickens and are financially doing better than we have …pretty much ever, even though things are still tight.
But…
I still feel discontented.

Like I’m missing out on some great adventure, and instead I’m stuck in this hot, sticky, sunny place with no beach and tons of humidity when all I really want is to see mountains and have cool nights and rain and be able to be outside for more than 5 minutes without feeling like I’m going to faint from the heat.
I feel frustrated because I really don’t want to be here.
 We have several friends who are moving away and I don’t want to be left here without them and without any family.
I wish we could still move, not to Oklahoma but somewhere else…somewhere cooler with mountains and wide open expanse where we can have a small farm, but it just seems impossible.

Yet, I just have to trust that God knows best for my life; for our family, that His plans are right and true and good even when they don’t seem like it.
The theme of the year for us is “Trust” and boy, is God teaching me that right now.
I know he is good, but do I really trust him? Even when he leads me places I don’t want to be?
The answer has to be yes, even though my flesh cries out “no” with each passing moment that it is denied.
I have to trust, because if I don’t, I would be denying Him lordship in my life which means I wouldn’t really believe he is; indeed my Saviour and worthy of all my trust, my praise. That He is worthy of all glory and honor and obedience…and I am nothing without Him.

A song keep coming to mind when I have days like this; it’s by a band called Something Like Silas (they’re not together anymore but they were really great)
It says:

“So I’ll trust You, when I cannot see,
So I’ll trust You, when the shadows hover over me
And I’ll love you, when the distance leaves me cold,
And I’ll love you, and I’ll still believe that You are Sovereign Lord”

And then the bridge goes,

“I’m learning to trust, I’m learning to feel, I’m learning to love you, always.”

And so, even though I don’t know why we’re supposed to still be here, I will trust.
This verse jumps out at me pretty much every morning, when I’m having my quiet time on the back steps, sipping my black, sweet coffee and watching the chickens scratch in the dew.

I am doing my best to dwell in His shelter, because that is really the only shelter we need.

“He that dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
Psalm 91:1,2